So yesterday, after I posted on Facebook about the Pope's awesome time at his first swimming lesson, a terrific friend of mine and mother of triplets (talk about a supermom!) Asked me what my secret was to being a "Supermom"... Supermom?...hardly!
First of all, my "Facebook life" is very different from my "Actual life". I make it a habit to post the good things on Facebook. We're all faced with plenty of our own garbage. We don't need to be dragged down by other people's stuff. So, on my Facebook page, you'll see the one thing that went right during our week and not the ninety-nine other things that did not. ;)
As far as secrets to being a "Supermom"? Well, I don't think they're secrets, really. But here's my top 10 for what gets me through my week.
1.) Pray. Find your higher power and lean on it from time to time. Believe me, it can be very beneficial.
2.) Sleep. Find the time to get some rest. Even if you have to schedule it.
3.) Celebrate the little things. I have a friend who's son is severely disabled. They celebrate "inch-stones" rather than milestones... A lot can be learned from people like her and her family.
4.) Date nights. If you're married, go on regular date nights with your husband. Get a sitter and go out! You need time to reconnect, even if you think you don't.
5.) Don't overload your schedule. (This is one I struggle with A LOT!) Work within your reasonable limits and don't be afraid to say "no" to certain activities, especially if they are volunteer or involve your children. Kids don't need to attend every birthday party and activity they are invited to and you don't need to help out at every event at school or Brownies or soccer.
6.) Find someone else you can "relate" to... I think this is especially important if you are parenting a child with special needs. There is nothing more gruesome than being with parents of "typicals" when your child is not. There are Facebook groups, Yahoo groups, Church groups, school groups, Special Olympics, Autism Speaks... find something.
7.) Once in a while, have a drink. Please know your limits! I am not trying to create alcoholics, but I do see the fringe benefits of glass of wine, now and then, especially after a hard day.
8.) Ask for help. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You can't possibly do it all and no one expects you to be able to (except maybe yourself!) When you need an extra hand, ask your spouse, friend, neighbor, church member, local teens... you'd be surprised at how many people are willing to help out when you really need it! All you have to do is ask.
9.) Get rid of the "ugly". We all have it... Those who put us down, discourage us, tell us we're worthless or doing the wrong thing. We're "bad parents" or our houses are "slovenly"... Get them out! Whoever they are, family, "friends" acquantances... say goodbye and let them go.
10.) Make some "me time" everyday. If it can only be the 15 minutes before you fall into bed exhaused at the end of the day, make it your time. Have that glass of wine or a cup of tea. Read that book. Do it while your husband is reading bedtime stories and putting the kids to bed. Take a bath. Put on some of that fancy hand cream you received from Aunt Mabel for Christmas. But do something for you... everyday...
That's really it. It's not that difficult once you get into the routine. As a mom, it's easy to put everyone else first. What we don't realize is the toll it takes on us. In all honesty, I'm not a "supermom"... just a regular mom, trying to raise a family and get by, one day at a time.
